Inès de Franclieu, is the author of the book “Dis, en vrai c’est quoi l’amour ?”(ENG: “Tell me really, what is love?”) a booklet with colourful, playful illustrations that is built in the form of a question and answer and is aimed at children aged 5 to 13.
As a mother and a lecturer, she has worked for many years in schools to instil respect for the body in young students by introducing them to the beauty of sexuality as an expression of love. Her activity and writing of the book was inspired by the questions of her own children.
Inès de Franclieu sees her book “Dis, en vrai c’est quoi l’amour?” as a proposal for discussing the body and sexuality with a child. She states: “We have a unique opportunity to have these conversations as parents.” The very beginning of sexual education is in the environment of the family and therefore it’s important to get the occasion in its early stages. She mentions that with a 5-year-old, for example, we will read the first two or three questions from Chapter 1. But, if we begin reading the book with a 9-year-old, the first question in Chapter 1 may appear childish to him, so we move on to the next ones. Thus the book should be treated as a guideline for the parents, associated with particular stages of growing.
The book’s author emphasises in her meetings with parents, that the topic should be affronted early enough. Starting a conversation about the body, love, and sexuality with a 5-year-old is akin to varnishing a beautiful piece of raw wood. However the approach to the needs of children can vary, especially those of a younger age, most likely will be brief, in order to just satisfy their curiosity. Additionally she suggests using the child’s eyes gaze as a guide in the conversation: a look of reassurance, full of approval – the answer is sufficient, there is no need to go any further. Conversations with our children about love and sexuality should be handled with care.
In regards to the following ages Inès de Franclieu discusses young people’s questions and the reactions that parents frequently face. In a previous published book: “Amour et sexualité. Comment en parler aux enfants et aux adolescents ?” [ENG: Love and sexuality. How to talk about it to children and teenagers?], she writes “It is essential that our children feel our satisfaction in watching them grow up. In adolescence, we will continue our dialogue with them about sexuality. It will be even easier, as we will have already dealt with the subject during childhood”. Teens need actual friendship since society’s idea of sexuality, or what they talk with peers, can be often divorced from their goal to be happy. “(…) Love is at the origin of the sexual relationship, because love is the real challenge of our life” – indicates the author.
Sources:
- DE FRANCLIEU I., Amour et sexualité: Comment en parler aux enfants et aux adolescents ? (French Edition)
- DE FRANCLIEU I., Dis, en vrai, c’est quoi l’amour? (French Edition)
- https://es.aleteia.org/
- https://www.babelio.com